Almost one week later

It's Lucy's 9th Birthday :)
There have been times when I've worried that she wouldn't make it :(
But she has and is now out of danger and hopefully will recover well. She's already doing really great, last night she slept without a collar for the first time in over a year!

This time she had stitches in her pin wounds, she didn't last time, which I don't really understand, but then the halo was fitted by different consultants each time, maybe they have their own methods?

She only had four pins second time where she had eight the last. So now we have just four wounds to heal and they are in the same place as four of the last ones which is good (otherwise we'd be dealing with six scars)

Pin wounds on the forehead

I can see the scars from the old pin wounds alongside the new ones, but I'm not sure how noticeable they are to others.

Here is a photo of her scar as it is now. I think it may be time to try out some lotions to approve it's appearance.

It seems she can look further to the right than the left, but look carefully and you can see her shoulder are more twisted, so in fact the movement is about the same. So far, it's as the Dr's expected, her movement is 50 per cent that of a normal child. There may be further improvement in time, but it's unlikely.

Lucy still walks, plays and moves as if she is still wearing the halo. I suppose this is normal.

We still have so much to be thankful for, our little girl is still with us and no longer in danger. We are so lucky.

Free

Today Lucy had her halo removed (again)
We arrived at the hospital at 8am, she went to theatre at around 9.15am and was back on the ward by 10.15am

She was drowsy for a while as the anaesthetic wore off. She'd been waking a little and asking if the halo had gone, then falling back to sleep. The she'd wake again and ask if the halo had gone. Finally when she woke up properly she expressed her joy at not having the halo anymore and said.

"At last, I'm FREE!"

Then she started crying, which made me cry.

She had a collar on but the consultant had told us that she needed to take it off as much as possible so she could strengthen her neck muscle which hadn't been used for two months. Two months! It's been over 12 months that she's been in a collar or halo, the consultant can't see past the current situation which was removing the halo after two months.

We took the collar off and Lucy exclaimed

"I'm normal again" 

Then she started crying again, which made me cry again.

Truly an emotional day.

A Date At Last.

When Lucy had her operation and halo applied we were told it would be removed in six to eight weeks. Well, six weeks passed and she was given a CT scan to check how things were. Then eight weeks passed and we still hadn't heard anything from the hospital so I gave them a call. I was told that she would have an appointment as soon as possible. The appointment came through for 12th November!! That means she would have had the halo on for five months.
I called again and explained why I believed she should be seen sooner and was told that she (the secretary) would have a word with Lucy's consultant to see what he said and get back to me. Three days later I called again to see what the consultant had said to be told that he hadn't seen the message yet and she would make sure he saw it that day.

Surely, it shouldn't be like this? She is an eight year old girl, she should  be seen in the time limits given, I shouldn't have to keep calling and pestering just to get her seen.

Anyway, the secretary called back and Lucy will be going into hospital next Monday morning to have the halo removed.

Then we will see what she is like, how much movement she has lost, if her neck is straight, if all of this has been worth while.

If she is fixed.

We have changed our minds again and have decided that she should have a general anaesthetic when she has the halo removed. The points have become quite sore and there has been some weeping which has scabbed over. We just think that it may be just a little too painful for her to endure. We also believe that she's not as brave as she often makes out. Sometimes she is able to express herself more and we can see just how frightened she actually is. We want the best for her and taking everything into consideration we now believe that the after effects of the anaesthetic would be easier for her to cope with than not having any while the halo is removed.

With the turn in the weather it makes us think that Summer will soon be over. We have tried to make the most of it but with Lucy in her halo we've not been able to take a holiday, or visit the beach, or do many of the fun things that we see others doing with their children while the weather has been warm and sunny. We can't visit adventure parks or go on bouncy castles, we can't go swimming or play sports. We refuse to keep out of the public eye, ignoring the stares and constantly answering questions, why should she stay indoors.

Having a new car has been a godsend. It's so much easier, and more comfortable for Lucy to go out now. So even though things have been bleak at least we've had something good in our lives.

Looking Forward!

Today I've been watching You Tube videos of young people having their halos removed without anaesthetic.
When Lucy was having her first halo removed the consultant did say that he could do it with her awake but they liked to anaesthetise children because it can be a traumatic experience. Currently, Lucy is having her most worries over having anaesthetic again. She always feels so poorly afterwards, and although we have tried both the gas and the injection, neither has been any different afterwards. She doesn't want her halo off because she doesn't want anaesthetic, so we are considering having it taken off without.

She goes to the hospital every week to have the screws tightened, both the ones on the vest and the ones in her skull. The Doctors are always amazed at how well she copes with this. I've been checking out the comments of young people who have had a halo and they have said that having the screws tightened is really painful. I know Lucy finds it difficult to express how it feels, and we have had some tears at times, but mostly she copes really well. So would she cope having it taken off? Well, it's something we are thinking about, we don't even know if the consultant would agree, and right now Lucy isn't so keen either. I hate having her pumped with such horrible poison that makes up anaesthetic.

Lucy has had two hospital appointments this week. The regular one to tighten her points and check up. We were worried that one of the points had become inflamed, but I bathed it carefully and regularly and it seemed to have cleared up loads by the time we went in for the appointment.

Then Lucy had another CT Scan. She is so used to these but this time there was a new machine and it threw her a little. Also, there was a very strong smell, I thought it smelt like new plastic, but Lucy assumed it was anaesthetic and started to gag. We managed to survive the scan though.

Now we just have to wait for the consultant to examine the CT Scan and then give us a date for removing the halo, it could be very soon. It will be amazing to get my little girl back again, but it's also a tense time to see if this last operation has worked and how much movement she will have. Looking back to when she had her last halo removed I had no reservations, I just assumed it had done the job and Lucy's neck would be fixed. It was a harrowing moment when I saw her head flop just a few hours after the removal. I'm am praying hard that this has finally fixed my little girl.

Halo Wearing - Summer Versus Winter

I wrote a post all about halo wearing back in March. It answers many of the questions asked about halos and what to expect.

I'd just like to add a few comments now on the differences between wearing a halo in the winter and the summer. Lucy had her last halo fitted from early December until late March. It was very cold but the vest is sheepskin lined so it kept her body warm. Unfortunately the sheepskin vest does not cover all of the body. The head and neck are exposed and because of the nature of the halo it is very difficult to cover these areas up. We did manage to thread a woollen scarf through the bars of the halo on really cold days which helped to keep her neck warm. There is no way of covering the head though, hats are out of the question. You can use an umbrella in the rain, but we found that the halo would keep getting caught on the spokes. We tried one of those dome shaped umbrellas but it wasn't much better. You are not supposed to get the halo wet so we found the easiest way to do this was not to go out if it was raining.

The halo vest does not cover the tummy and it is difficult to get clothing over the top. We managed to dress Lucy in a stappy vest under a shirt or button through cardigan a couple of sizes bigger than her regular size. Even then it was not possible to do more than two or three of the bottom buttons up and often the shoulders where uncovered apart from the halo vest. We found a big coat she could wear, but again couldn't do it all the way up for maximum coverage in the cold weather.

Apart from not getting the halo wet, it's also advisable not to go out when it's too cold as the points that enter the skull can get very cold and cause the wearer pain. This only happened to Lucy once, we did try to avoid taking her out when it was too cold.

When Lucy had the halo put on a second time it was in June. We have since had some really warm and sunny weather. So, no worries about covering her up and it hasn't rained much here either. It's not all good news though. We've found that Lucy has more headaches on sunny days. We are not sure if the halo is the cause, but she didn't really have so many headaches before it was applied. Also, the sheepskin vest is very warm. We've only been dressing her in her strappy vests, but she's still too hot and itchy all the time. It's even worse at night time when she's trying to sleep. She is just too hot.

We have had to be careful that she hasn't spent too much time in the sun so she doesn't get sunburnt or heatstroke. This time she also has a partially shaved head and healing scars. We can't put a hat on her or completely cover her in sun protection lotion.

Basically, halo wearing affects your life in both winter and summer. It's just as difficult to keep cool as it is to keep warm. Ironically, Lucy's summer halo appears to have much more sheepskin than the winter one. The summer one covers her neck a lot more, whereas the winter one left her neck exposed to the cold.


We are trying to keep things as normal as possible, and using Lucy as a guide we are getting out when we can, just not for long.

Three Weeks On

It's been three weeks since Lucy's second operation and she seems to be coping well. We still have the anaemia, the consultant told me to take her to the GP for regular blood tests and some iron supplement. She won't take the iron it makes her really sick, and it doesn't help her constipation. So we are going with a homeopathic remedy and lots of iron rich food, her current favourites are broccolli and Heinz Spaghetti Hoops (one of your five a day with extra iron! so the advert goes, and she saw it so she'd rather have Hoops every day!) We'll see how she goes.

She's getting a fair bit of pain in her neck, but it's still early days yet. There was some major stuff going on in there when they operated and it's going to take some time to heal. The scars are nice and clean and healing well, and her halo points are fine. We are really lucky that she manages to avoid infection. 

She gets tired a lot, although she's become more awkward at bedtime too. I think maybe she's uncomfortable and can't sleep properly. The heat lately hasn't been helping much, she's wearing a sheepskin vest all the time! Of course the anaemia can be a cause of tiredness too and can also cause itching, which she is getting a lot (And not just under the sheepskin vest)

I think that considering she's just three weeks post op. she is doing really well.

It's also nice that she now has a real nice team looking after her at the hospital. I really don't like to complain because I know they all do such a good job, but the last team that cared for her constantly made me feel as though she was a burden. If I called them because I was worried about something I was abruptly brushed off. Appointments were rushed and often I had to pester them for the next appointment because they hadn't made one for her. They didn't seem to take any of my fears or worries seriously and I often felt that had she had a brain tumor or something then they might be a little more interested in her, it was like a broken neck wasn't enough. 

Her new team are so much more considerate. The appointments are made regularly and we are never left waiting. When we go in they take their time to make sure she is really is ok and show that they are concerned. They ask me lots of questions and I never feel like I'm pestering them. They are all considerate from the highest consultant to the nurses on the team. I don't know why Lucy was switched from her old consultant team but I'm so glad that she was. 

healing wounds, this is the one where they took the bone graft. 

White as a Ghost

I have been worried about how pale Lucy is since her operation. She is doing fine and even went to play out in the sunshine in the garden a couple of days ago when Daddy put up the swing. However, she is still really pale and gaunt.
I always check on her in the night, shortly after she has gone to bed, then again when I go to bed, and often when I have to get up to visit the bathroom, or someone else wakes me up.
Last night it was her sister that woke me and asked me to tuck her back into bed. I walked into the room and it felt like my heart was in my throat. Lucy was lying on her back, mouth slightly open, white as a ghost and eyes half open. To be honest, she does sleep a lot like this..i.e. mouth and eyes a little open, but it was just a shock seeing her so pale as well. Of course, you can't see her breathing easily either because of the halo vest covering her chest. I did however notice a small fall and rise of her tummy.
I had to touch her, just to see, just to make sure.
It was such a relief to feel her warmth.
She stirred in her sleep and asked me to turn her over, so I helped her on her side and she promptly started snoring.
If only she had been snoring when I walked in the room.

Tomorrow she goes to have the halo checked and the stitches in her head and neck taken out. She is now terrified of going to hospital. After all this time, she was always perfectly fine with going. I guess last week was just too traumatic for her and she doesn't want to go through anything like that again.
I don't want her to go through anything like that again!