Two Weeks to Go

We have a date for Lucy's operations. She will go into hospital on the 8th June and have the first procedure the following morning. Then she will have the fusion on the Wednesday, just two days after.
So now we have two weeks and then it all begins.
Lucy is fine about it. We've talked about it and tried to make her understand but it's hard to get through to her sometimes. Her main concerns have been about the anaesthetic, she does not want gas this time. Also, she is worried about not being on the same ward as she usually is. She has been assigned a different consultant so she thinks this means a different ward, but that is not the case. She will be back on her regular ward with her favourite nurses and everything will feel familiar to her.

That seems strange saying that, I never really thought I'd be thinking of a hospital in terms of being a familiar place. It has become so though. We go to the ward and everyone knows Lucy's name. We go to radiology and we are greated with 'hello Lucy' and rarely have to show an appointment card or letter, ditto when we go to the physio therapy department. We can't walk around the hospital without someone recognising her. It really has become a second home. Yet it seems such a short time ago when we were first in A&E watching the new automatic doors being unable to close properly. Lucy still laughs about that, probably because I tried to keep her entertained during our long wait by saying the doors where shy but in love and trying desperately to kiss, but whenever they got close they were too shy and opened up again.

I'm getting in all the hugs I can while she is free from the halo. I'm dreading its return, I can't get close to her. This time she will be in much more pain too, how do I cope not being able to hold her and make her feel better. I'm already dreading the thought of her being in pain. In fact whenever I think about what she has to endure I feel sick. I really hope and pray it's not too bad for her.