Monday, 20 May 2024

Sorry For Not Updating Sooner but it's been a bit Poo!

 Last week we finally got to see a consultant at the adult hospital to proceed with her treatment. Last year she was told she'd be referred but we didn't hear anything. So I requested her notes from the hospital and they also sent me a disc of her scan results. 

It was all very interesting, but there were two things that spiked my interest. Both were on a letter from the consultant that we had been told Lucy was being referred to. The first was that she wasn't taking any new patients and she didn't think Lucy required her help. The other was a question to the referring consultant asking if Lucy had been tested for slow transit constipation. 

I was on it straight away. First I wrote to the referring consultant and asked if he was thinking of testing Lucy for slow transit constipation. Secondly, I wrote to the other consultant and asked if she'd actually looked at Lucy's notes and could see how obvious it was that her help was needed. 

Then two things happened. Lucy was tested for slow transit constipation, which indeed she does have. And she was seen by the new consultant's team and her treatment is finally going ahead. 

Sometimes you have to shout to be heard. I'm not very good at advocating for myself but I'd do anything for my kids. 

So what is slow transit constipation? Well, it's the slow movement of the poo through the large intestine. Most bowel diseases occur in the small intestine, that's why Lucy does not have IBD. She does have problems though, and it gets a little more complicated when it comes to the large bowel. 

Because Lucy has had these problems a long time it's hard to see what is causing it so the first line of treatment is to empty the bowel and concentration on medication to keep it empty, or moving. Lucy has had medication before but it's never really helped much, so now she's an adult they are stepping it up and we have two months worth of suppositories and enemas as well as pills to take. Once she is emptied then she will be monitored with the medication only. If that doesn't work, then there is a stronger medication. If that fails then she will undergo more investigation and could end up with an operation. But that's a long way off and I'm hoping the medication will work. 

The big worry is the syringomyelia which could be the cause, but it could still be controlled with the right medication. 

Fingers tightly crossed for my not so little, little girl.


Wednesday, 26 July 2023

Too Much and not Enough

 As you may recall I told you that Lucy has a syringomyelia and I've been getting advice from a neurologist who is not Lucy's doctor. She thinks it would be better to ask for Lucy to be referred back to the Children's hospital as the waiting list is a lot shorter, so I'm going to contact them and see if this is possible. 

Then I get more information on syringomyelia. It's a neurological order where CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) causing a fluid filled cyst on the spinal cord, a syrinx. Apparently Lucy has two and they were picked up on her MRI. They can be harmless and never detected, but if they cause problems then they need to be treated. 

Lucy has problems as we know. Things that can be cause by syringomyelia which Lucy currently suffers from are:

  • pain
  • pins and needles
  • bladder problems
  • bowel problems
  • weakness in limbs
  • stiffness in limbs and neck
  • loss of balance
  • headaches
The most common cause of syringomyelia is chairi malformation. But it can also be caused by spinal cord injury.
Lucy has had surgery on her cervical spine, in her notes it says from injury but I know that she wasn't injured it was idiopathic but the doctors wouldn't believe me, so I said she fell off her scooter (when she hadn't but at least it got her a scan and treatment) 
It was most likely caused by her EDS (Elhers Danlos Syndrome.) 

At the time of her treatment for her cervical spine I was told quite categorically that it was NOT chairi malformation but intercranial instability. I've been looking up the surgical procedure for Chairi malformation and it's exactly what she had, decompression surgery. She also had a spinal fixation which is a procedure for Chairi malformation for children with type 1 Chairi and EDS. I was also told that there was NO leakage of CSF but now, some 9 year later we find out that there was, otherwise she would not have syringomyelia. 

I really don't know what to think. If I send her back to the Children's hospital it means that they will be more understanding about me staying with her. But it also means she'll be under many of the same doctors who now appeared to have got things really wrong. 

Treatment, if she ever gets around to it, will possibly be a draining of the syrinx using a shunt. This is the minor of the operations available and hopefully she won't have to go through another decompression surgery. 

If she doesn't get treated it could get very much worse for her. People with this condition can have no symptoms and live normal lives, but Lucy already has symptoms and they could get very much worse. 


Thursday, 13 July 2023

More Catheter problems and a Good Doctor

 Yesterday it was Lucy's scheduled catheter change. She wasn't too happy but she knew it had to be done. She stayed in bed until the District Nurse arrived at 11am. 

It didn't go well. The nurse got the catheter in and Lucy said it didn't feel right. The nurse insisted it was right but when she inflated the balloon to keep it in place it fell out! She tried again and said that she'd call back in 1 hour to see if it was working. 

Lucy knew straight away that it wasn't working and in 1/2 hour she was in so much pain I was on my mobile to call the nurse back. While I was waiting to get through, the house phone rang and it was her regular nurse. Lucy is supposed to have the same nurse every time because of her autism causing anxiety. We were so relieved and the nurse came straight away. She tried 3 times to put a new catheter in but it just wouldn't work. Lucy was getting more and more distressed. The Nurse said that she needed to go to A&E as by this time she was retaining quite a lot. (i.e. she couldn't wee so her bladder was expanding.) 

Lucy was really distressed and terrified that they would keep her in hospital again. 

We got to A&E and the place was the busiest I have ever seen it, and we've been there A LOT. My heart sank and Lucy was even more distressed. BUT, a nurse came straight away, took one look at her and put her in a cubicle. If the bladder gets too full then there is the prospect of damage to the kidneys. Lucy had kidney issues before which is why she was admitted to hospital. 

Lucy was looking about six months pregnant by now because of how full her bladder was and she was in a lot of pain.

A doctor came to see us and said because Lucy was just 17 yrs old and had be catheterised for so long he wanted to know why before he put another catheter in. He came back an gave me so much information my head was whirling. Before I get to that I'll let you know how Lucy got on.

It took another three attempts and two different nurses before the catheter was in and working, and it filled the bag straight away. It was terribly painful for Lucy but she was brave and so relieved afterwards. Then we were allowed to go home. We were there less than 4 hours! We've waited that long to be seen before. 

Now, for the information overload. 

Lucy had an MRI back in October last year. They found two syrinx.

syrinx is a rare, fluid-filled neuroglial cavity within the spinal cord (syringomyelia), in the brain stem (syringobulbia)

We were told she has one on her spine and her brain. These probably come from when Lucy had Cranial Instability when she was 7 years old. It was corrected by surgery but she's never had a single scan or xray apart from the one immediately after the hospital. 

A couple of years ago she was taken to A&E when her neck was hurting and we were told she had a cyst but it would go away. They did not check to see if it was a syrinx. I'm not still not sure if I have a cause for complaint. 

The doctor told me that Lucy had already been referred to two of the best consultants in the hospital but the waiting lists were up to a year long.

The only other information he could give me was that the consultants would decide what they can do about the syrinx but in the meantime it was preventing messages from the brain that make the bladder and bowels work. So Lucy will need to use a catheter until we do know if anything can be done, otherwise her kidneys will be damaged too. He has promised to refer her back to clinic to learn how to self catheterise. 


He also told me that Lucy's pelvic floor is in a bad way. Another consultant will be dealing with this, again we have to wait a long time for an appointment. Best case scenario is physio therapy, worst is surgery. Surgery comes with the added complication of not working because of her EDS. 

It's good to have some answers even though they are vague. It's not good to know that my poor girls body is so screwed up. 


Wednesday, 3 May 2023

Update on my Latest Scan

 My consultant sent me for a scan to look for paraneoplastic signals for my pain in my chest. It went well and it came back almost clear. 

Firstly there were no issues in my chest, stomach or lower abdomen. Good news, my 'new pain' is not caused by cancer. I still don't know what is causing this pain but it looks like it's here to stay and yes, I'm getting used to it now. I've now got another new pain in my left thigh and groin but I'm so hoping this is a strain and will ease off in time. I don't want to get used to any more pains thank you very much.


The scan did show up a nodule on my thyroid which may or may not be cancerous. I will need another scan with contrast to find out. If it is it's one of the cancers that is easy treatable so I'm not stressing out about it. Plus it's been weeks now since it was found and they still haven't called me back in, so it can't be too serious can it! 

This is what I found on the NHS website:

Are thyroid nodules something to worry about?
The vast majority — more than 95% — of thyroid nodules are benign (noncancerous). If concern arises about the possibility of cancer, the doctor may simply recommend monitoring the nodule over time to see if it grows. Ultrasound can help evaluate a thyroid nodule and determine the need for biopsy.




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It's Never Ending Catheter problems

 Lucy has had a catheter for nearly 8 months now. The district nurse comes every month to check her and she has the catheter changed every 12 weeks. After the first change she had problems and we had to call the district nurse out. The catheter was leaking and she was in pain. The nurse managed to sort it out without having to change the catheter and a visit to the GP got her some medication to stop her bladder from having spasms. 

After the second change things were okay for a day or two. Then one night I found Lucy crying in the toilet. The catheter had come out completely and Lucy was desperate to go but couldn't. Her bladder was already full to maximum and she was in pain. It was 1am and I didn't know what to do. Her district nurse had a 24 hour emergency number in her pack which I called. The operator said he would get someone to call me back. Lucy was stressing out because she didn't want to go back into hospital. 

10 minutes after my call there was a knock at the door and it was a district nurse. She'd been seeing someone in the next street when my call had come through so she came straight around. She replaced the catheter and Lucy immediately filled the bag she was so desperate. I can't imagine how painful it must be to want to pee and not be able to. 

We've had no further problems until last night when the catheter bag kept coming un attached during the night. So we changed the bag and are keeping our fingers crossed. 

It looks like the bag is here to stay for now but we don't know why? I'm going to buy her some bag covers for going out to try and help her feel a bit more comfortable about it. 

The nurse is also trying to find out from the hospital what is happening. We have had no results from her urodynamic testing and she should have been for another trial without catheter by now. We don't think that's going to work though, the other night proved that she still can't pee! 



My Girls Enterography or MRE

 On 23rd February Lucy went for her Enterography, or MRE. 

Magnetic resonance enterography is an imaging test that lets your doctor see detailed pictures of your small intestine. It can pinpoint inflammation, bleeding, and other problems. It is also called MR enterography. The test uses a magnetic field to create detailed images of your organs. A computer analyzes the images.

The results came back that she did not have inflammation or any sign of disease. But she did have a very blocked bowel. 

She is now on 6 doses of Movicol a day until we get to see a colorectal surgeon to see where we go next. 

We have done many dis-impactions in the past. Including one in the hospital last September. It doesn't matter how many times we clear her out, she gets constipated again.

We have still not heard back about the cysts on her spine and whether they are having anything to do with her problems. 

We are once again in limbo until we find out what is going on. In the meantime it's tons of pads and disposable pants because it just keeps coming! 




Wednesday, 22 February 2023

Visit with Neuro Consultant 6th February 2023

 Today I had my six monthly visit with my neuro consultant. He is mostly concerned with how well I am doing on the IVIG as he has to get my medication approved each time. 

We talked about my chest pain which I have been told is musculoskeletal and he said it could very well be part of my condition. This is both reassuring and despairing. It's a new pain that I will just have to put up with forever. Trust me, I'm used to this, give me six months and it will... oh yes, that chest pain, it's annoying but I'm used to it now.  

Just to put my mind at rest he is going to request an abdominal and chest CT Scan to make sure nothing else is going on. If it is something else then it will be picked up. It might even be something that can be fixed, I can only hope. 

We talked about whether it was possible to have spasms while asleep. I know that I do, and my husband Graham can confer. He has had to wake me up when I'm having  a spasm. Yes, they still hurt but sometime it takes a while for them to get so bad that they wake me up. But, I did get into a discussion with a fellow sufferer online who claimed that you can't have spasms while sleeping and you have to wake up first. My consultant explained that because SPS is a condition that effects the Central Nervous System then the person does not have to be awake for it to be active. 

My consultant asked me to make a video talking about my condition, how it affects me, what triggers spasms, and how I feel after IVIG. He will use it to show his student doctors.

Monday, 6 February 2023

Three Flare ups and a Catheter Change and all in the first month of the year.

 My poor girl has really been through a lot this month. She has had three flare ups of severe diarrhoea.

One attack was pretty awful I was tempted to take her to A&E but as she's been before in this state and they did nothing to help, she was adamant that she didn't want to go. So we dealt with it at home. I did manage to take some photos of the toilet which I can share with her consultant, this needs to be seen. Although, it's not something I'd share elsewhere. 

The good news is that she has the date for her MRI Entogram, 23rd February. She has to avoid certain food for three days before the scan and going through the list I think she will be okay. The only things she really likes are baked beans and peas and red meat but it's only 3 days. Then on the day she will need to drink a liquid (mannitol solution) to fill the small bowl with fluid. Then the MRI will give detailed pictures of the small bowel and evidence of blockages or inflammation. 

She had the district nurse arrive to replace her catheter at home. This was a first as previous changes had been done in hospital. She finds the experience extremely painful but she's very brave and the nurse helped by getting it in first time. Lucy found it painful at first, but then she  had a flare up shortly afterwards. It was all a bit of a nightmare, we had to keep it clean so it didn't get infected. She needs lots of help with this. 

After four days I was getting worried that her pain was not subsiding and said we should call the nurse but she wouldn't let me. I gave her a couple of more days and she said she was okay. She was obviously not, but with lots of cleaning and cream we managed to get her fairly comfortable. She was so scared the catheter would have to be replaced she'd rather walk around in pain every day! 

We haven't heard back from the Urology clinic which is a bit worrying. They said we would have the results of her urodynamics testing in six weeks but it's been twice as long. I did get a letter saying they were concerned about something that showed up on her MRI and wanted to consult with the children's hospital. I think this is probably what is holding them up. They want to get answers from everything rather than speculating. I do think I've given them a reasonable amount of time though, so I am going to contact PALS (Patient Liason) to see if they can find out what is going on. I don't mind waiting for results but it would be nice to know that she hasn't fallen by the wayside. (This has happened before.) 


Sunday, 5 February 2023

It's Not a Heart Attack but I've no idea what it is

 On 23rd January after an awful weekend I was in a lot of pain with my chest. I've been to the GP several times with this pain. First I was told it was gastric and she gave me Gaviscon and Laxido. It helped a little but the pain was keeping me up at night. My second visit I was told it was my rib and I was given strong painkillers. They helped but also caused me gastric problems. It felt like I was going around in circles. 

My third visit was just as bad. The GP said that my pain was musculoskeletal and said I needed physio therapy. 

Then I had a really bad weekend and on the 23rd Graham went out to visit his mum. I had a really bad spasm and my daughter panicked and called 111 who sent an ambulance. It arrived within 10 minutes! 

The ambulance crew told me that I wasn't having a heart attack. I knew that already, but with chest pains that is the first thing they have to rule out. They couldn't rule out a lot of other things though and wanted me to go to A&E. By this time, Graham was home so I said I'd go with him.

We were ushered in through ambulatory care because of already being seen by an ambulance crew. We were at the hospital for 4 hours and and they checked everything. I also had an Xray on my chest. They concluded that I did not have any heart problems or a pulmonary embolism. I do have scarring on my lungs, possibly from Covid, but other than that nothing conclusive. So they put my pain down to musculoskeletal. 

I have been summoned for another Xray in a couple of weeks just to make sure my lungs are not getting any worse. 

I'm not sure what is going on in my chest, but the pain is deep inside. I hope I will have some answers someday. 


Sunday, 18 December 2022

A Night of Sh*T

 

This post may be too much information for some, I just felt I needed to write things down. Maybe in the future I can look back and think about how bad it was and how much better it is. I hope so, I really do. 

It started about 10pm. Lucy told me she had  diarrhoea and it was pretty bad. She cleaned herself up and I gave her one of her incontinence pads and off she went to bed. 

1 am. Lucy knocked on my bedroom door and said she was sorry but she needed help. I met her in the bathroom. First I had to get her drink because she was dehydrated and feeling faint. The mess was bad. Everything she was wearing was soiled, the pad had saved nothing. She began cleaning herself while I sorted out the washing into a bag and got her clean clothes. We went for the higher grade pads and disposable knickers. But it just wouldn't stop coming out. Luckily she'd got to the toilet on time and her bed was clean. I had to give her some loperamide. 

3 am. Lucy knocked again and we went to the bathroom again. The pad and knickers had saved a bit of mess but there was so much diarrhoea and it smelt so bad. Again, it just didn't want to stop. Lucy had pain relief before going back to bed. 

7 am. Definitely the worst. The mess was incredible despite our best efforts at containing it. Being a catheter wearer we decided that it was too bad to leave so after the clean up operation we changed the bag and straps. The bed needed changing too. This was despite a huge pad and disposable incontinence pads. Lucy was incredibly dehydrated and faint, she was good at cleaning herself up though, while I cleaned the rest of the mess, the clothes, bedclothes, bathroom floor, toilet etc. We have special scented bags for the messy items (pads, knickers) and managed to fill two big ones over night. I also filled the washing machine which will be put on a hot wash along with sanitizer liquid. It will probably need two washes. an hour later and she was back in a clean bed with more pain relief and Loperamide and lots of fluids. Fingers crossed the next time isn't so bad. We remembered to get a good sample for the hospital. 

9.30 am. Strike that the 7am was the worst, because this was the most awful mess so far. The bed needed changing again. I had to wash her duvet (it turned out okay) and her mattress was saved by a special cover (Which had to be washed.) Lucy went straight into the shower because a clean up by any other way was impossible. I had to stay with her because of how faint she felt. We kept up with lots of fluids. All cleaned up and super duper sized pads and knickers, protective sheet and off to the settee. She went to the toilet every hour up until 6pm. Each time needed a pad change.

6.30pm Lucy couldn't eat her dinner, so I gave her Fortisip and vitamins. 

11pm Another complete change and ready for bed. 

3 am Another complete change and clean up.

9 am Another complete change and clean up.

The super duper big pads have managed to stop leakage onto the bed clothes though. That's a relief. I got them from a neighbour on a give away app. They would have cost me about £30 otherwise. We have loads left. 

They look like nappies though and there is no way Lucy would feel comfortable leaving the house in one, not that she would go out while so poorly anyway. 

It looks like it's starting to get better though. The last flare up lasted 7 days so I know it won't stop anytime soon, but we might be back to using normal pads by tomorrow and hopefully no more bed changes. 



Thursday, 24 November 2022

First Gastroenterologist appointment at Adult hospital

 This is a brief update of Lucy's condition with her bowels so far which I wrote for her first visit to the gastroenterologist. 

*************************************************************************

Lucy has a history of gastro problems all her life. She has always had incontinence and has poor control of her bowels. She suffered constipation a lot and the incontinence nurses suggested dis-impaction which we tried many times over a few years. Every school holiday we would spend with her taking Movicol until she was completely runny. The constipation would return. We stopped going to the nurses when she was 13 yrs old.

She also has an overflow when she is constipated which she has no control over.

More recently she has suffered more and more diarrhoea which was not like the overflow. 

The situation now is that she is constipated or has diarrhoea, it's very rare that her faeces looks normal. Even the more solid faeces is slimy. 

We saw a gastro Dr at the Children's hospital when her GP referred her after a particularly bad period of diarrhoea which had shown blood in her feaces. The Dr said she had found calprotectin in her sample but it wasn't very high. A second sample showed the calprotectin was even lower. The advice was to give her loperamide to make her faeces more solid and Movicol to move it through her body. It worked for about a couple of months and then she had another really bad period of diarrhoea. I gave her more Loperamide which resulted in constipation. She refused the Movicol as she didn't want to the diarrhoea back. 


We had a telephone consultation with a general Dr at this hospital about her problems and they said to use more Loperamide when the diarrhoea started so we could stop it sooner. 


Lucy became reliant on the Loperamide to stop the diarrhoea but the constipation became more of a problem. So we stopped everything. The GP suggested peppermint oil which helped a little. 

We took her to A&E after a 7 day period of diarrhoea and she was feeling really unwell on 19th July. The Dr said he would write to our GP and request they make an appointment to see a gastrointestinal doctor. We had to visit the GP and make the request ourselves and have been waiting since then. 

Since July Lucy has had four week long boughts of diarrhoea and has suffered constipation inbetween. We have stopped all medication as nothing was really helping. 

Then on 19th August Lucy was admitted to hospital after retaining urine (over a litre) and couldn't go to the toilet. They said she was really constipated and gave her two suppositories which eased the consitpation. Lucy was catheterised for a couple of days. Then she was sent home. 10 days later she retained again and the catheter was replaced. She is still catheterised. 


On speaking to the Dr during Lucy's hospital stay we were told that the retaining could be down to her Elhers Danlos Syndrome, and this could also be an issue with her bowels. The nurse at her last urology appointment told me that her urological problems would not get better unless her bowels problem were sorted and offered to write to her GP. 


Lucy is underweight and although she has never really been very large, she has also never been this skinny. She has definitely lost a lot of weight in the last two years. 


Diet: She likes nothing better than meat and vegetables. She also likes some processed food like chicken nuggets and burgers and chips. She does not like pasta or rice, although recently she has tried lasagne. She eats little but snacks between meals occasionally. Her snacks are generally biscuits, crisps or cheese puffs, but she does not eat these in excess.  She only drinks soft drinks, not fizzy. She dislikes dairy products but will eat cheese occasionally. 



Lucy is currently having a period of diarrhoea which started on Sunday night. Before the diarrhoea she said her faeces was not hard and she wasn't constipated. I ask her every day if she has been to the toilet and what it was like. 


First Visit, how it went

The Doctor was really nice. he talked about all of Lucy's history and the problems that led us to being at this appointment. He checked all her notes from the other consultants. 

He decided that it was highly probable that Lucy had IBD and will do all the necessary tests. First up she had a ton of blood tests done. It's been shown in the past that Lucy is suffering from malabsorption and there has to be a reason for that. In particular she is very anaemic and has poor vitamin B12 absorption. This can be a sign of an auto-immune condition. The Doctor was quite forward in saying it looked like Lucy has Chron's disease, but she needed testing before a diagnosis could be made. He is willing to do these tests starting with an MRI within the next few weeks. 

If after all the testing it showed that Lucy does not have IBD then she will be diagnosed with IBS and referred to the nursing team who will give her all the help she needs to manage her condition. 

He assured us that no matter what, she would get the help she needed to get better or get her conditions under control. 

Things may be looking up for Lucy, I am hoping that this is the help she needs to get better. 




Friday, 4 November 2022

Coping with a Catheter

 Lucy is coping ok right now. She's in a lot less pain anyway, and getting used to her bag. We've learnt how to change it and how to add the night time bag. She can do it herself now. She has an ultrasound scan booked on 22nd September to see how her bladder and kidneys are holding up. There was some mention of vEDS in the hospital but Lucy has been genetically tested for this so it's highly unlikely that it's the cause. The geneticist did say that nothing was certain, but we are focusing on 'unlikely.' She has her own district nurse team which are on hand if we have any further problems...hopefully this will mean no more A&E and hospital. She has boxes of supplies and a cabinet of medication. And is now awaiting her Fortisip to try and help her gain a little weight. We still haven't had the results of her MRI but I'm sure if it was bad news we'd know by now.

Next up is tests on her bladder from the Urology dept, which is booked 18th October and she may have her catheter removed then. Next step is to lean how to self catheterise. It should all be sorted by her next appointment which is 22nd November. Fingers crossed.
We are still waiting for her appointment at the gastroenterology dept. I think her gastro problems are the main cause of all of this but we won't know until she is seen. We do know that the first time she was admitted to hospital that her bowels had crushed her bladder. So we can't fix one without the other.
That's where we stand right now. She hasn't been out of the house yet, but with the right clothing the catheter can go unnoticed and she is not in pain anymore.

UPDATE

Catch up on Lucy. She had her Ultrasound on 22nd September and every thing seemed OK. Her kidneys looked better which was good. Today she went to the Urology clinic for the first time . She had the catheter removed and then had to drink a jug of water. She then had to wee, but it wasn't good. An ultrasound showed she was still retaining. She tried again. More water drinking and another wee. More came out this time but it wasn't enough and again the scan showed she was still retaining. She was given the opportunity to learn how to self catheterise but she said she couldn't do it. So she had the catheter put back in. It's obvious her bladder isn't working but we won't have any answers for a couple of weeks. Then she's back at the clinic for urodynamic studies which sounds pretty awful but we will get the answers we need to go forward.

31st October

Today we had the results from Lucy's MRI which she had on her last hospital stay. They are requesting her notes from the Children's hospital because they have spotted something on her spine. I don't want to spurt jargon that I know nothing about but we will have answers soon. On Wednesday Lucy will be having all sorts of tests done on her bladder to see what is and isn't working. Then at the end of the month it's back to the clinic to find out the answers and maybe the thoughts on the MRI scan. At the moment, it's looking like she will be catheterised for some time so she really needs to learn how to do it herself. I'll let you know how she gets on.

What Happened to my Daughter and Elhers Danlos Syndrome


This is the story of what happened to my 17 year old daughter Star, and how her Elhers Danlos Syndrome caused her to end up in hospital for nearly four days.


Friday 19th August began with a visit to the GP with Star. She had been for blood tests the week before and the GP said they would help her with her tummy problems. When we got there a different GP told us of all the vitamins that she's lacking from her blood tests. Then she looked at me accusingly and asked, 'doesn't she ever eat?' So, once again I explained about her tummy problems and how we are trying to find the foods she can actually eat without making her really poorly. So the GP wrote a request for a specialist to see her at the hospital.

Later her boyfriend came around and she was one happy girl. She was looking forward to going out for her birthday and excited about her gifts and special day. Then on Friday evening she told me she hadn't been able to pee all day. I thought it was a bit worrying so I told her I'd get some medical advice in the morning and said she should get some sleep. I was completely shattered myself and I know she was too. She lasted a couple of hours, then my eldest daughter told me Star was crying in the bathroom.

Her tummy was swollen and she was in a lot of pain so I called 111. They told they could send an ambulance but it would take about 11 hours!! But they said she needed to be in hospital within the hour. We quickly got dressed and off we went in the early hours of Saturday morning along the dark and quiet roads.



Accident and Emergency



The A&E was not so quiet though. There was even some woman lying on the floor across the entrance refusing to go home. There were security guards that had to drag her away just so we could get in. Poor Star wanted to go back home straight away. We didn't even get to say goodbye to her Dad as we were quickly hustled inside.

We booked in and was seen by a nurse after 2 hours. Star was really hurting, but there were a lot of really sick people there. When she was finally called things moved pretty quickly. She was taken into a room for an ultrasound and they could see how bad things were. She had more than 1300ml of urine in her bladder. Another hour and she could have easily burst it. A catheter was put in, the experience was a complete nightmare for Star, but she was incredibly brave. We have lots of coping strategies when things are tough to get through and she started talking none stop about the circus we'd seen on holiday, telling the nurse every minute detail. It was her way of taking her mind off things and it worked.

Then she was moved to cubicle where we spent 7 1/2 hours. Star managed to sleep a little. I did nod off a few times in wheelchair. I was dreaming of the wheelchair that Graham had sent me a picture of the day before, a reclining one with a headrest. Problem is, we could only afford it because it came from China and the reviews of the ordering and delivery process were dire. A wheelchair like that in this Country would cost us three times as much. Anyway, I digress!

Eventually she was moved up to  a ward, but they didn't have a bed. She was put in a reclining chair! In a lot of pain and not knowing what was going on she became distressed. I am used to these chairs as they are the type I have my treatment in, so I showed her how to adjust it so it became just like a bed and she was a bit more comfortable then. 

Saturday, 8 May 2021

Stiff Person Syndrome, is There a Cause?

 I'm not a doctor and can only write from my own experience and the experiences I've collected from speaking to others. If you believe you have any kind of illness then please seek out help from a professional.


Stiff Person Syndrome: a summary

With Stiff Person Syndrome being an incredibly rare condition, it's difficult to get any information. A good place to start is the official Stiff Person Syndrome website for the UK. Even though Stiff Person Syndrome was first discovered in the 1950s there is still very little research and many doctors will have not even heard of it. On average, it takes about 7 years to get a diagnosis. They diagnosed me in just one year as my consultant was familiar with the condition and knew what to look for.

Stiff Person Syndrome (I'll call it SPS from now on) is an auto-immune, neurological condition. Medically it is diagnosed by a mixture of symptoms, nerve and muscle control and anti-bodies. The main rogue anti bodies being GAD and Glycine Receptor. To get to a diagnosis a person might have to endure blood tests, a lumber puncture, nerve conductive tests, and electro magnetic muscle tests. 

There are many treatments, mostly drug based. A lot of patients can get good results from steroids, plasma exchange or immunoglobulins. Some can live fairly normal lives, some will be disabled for life.

The Causes of Stiff Person Syndrome

Now, a doctor will argue that nothing causes SPS, it mainly just appears. The anti-bodies are a major factor. 
If you talk to people who have SPS you will probably see some sort of pattern emerge. So many claim to have undergone some kind of trauma before the onset of SPS. 

Maybe the trauma triggered the SPS, or that the SPS was already there and triggered the trauma. Some people had falls because of unexplained stiffness. Now, because we know that SPS causes stiffness in muscles so it's quite possible that before diagnosis you can experience symptoms which cause falls. And if you ask an SPS sufferer, you will know that any kind of mental trauma will cause their symptoms to get worse. A shock, stress, grief or even something as simple as a sudden noise or change in temperature can cause symptoms and spasms. 

In my case, I'd experienced a few symptoms of pins and needles and numbness, which may have been an indication that something was happening inside my body. But I'd not really thought about it. Then I fell down the stairs. I can't explain what happened. I was almost at the bottom when I just slipped and landed on my back. I hurt my wrist where I'd put it down to break my fall, but my lower back was most affected. I'd also noticed that my neck was stiff and I couldn't move it without pain. I didn't seek medical help, I went shopping at the local supermarket the next day. It hurt, but I carried on.

Seven months later I was taking my Father-in-law to hospital. I was the only driver in the family at the time, and I had to take him for a scan as he was having chest pains. He was really ill in the car, and I was terrified that he was going to have a heart attack in the seat beside me while I was driving. We got to the hospital, but he died in the foyer. I still find the experience difficult to talk about. The following few hours were extremely traumatic. 

Three days later I was in the hospital myself suffering from what I now recognise as my first SPS attack. I had a full body spasm which left me paralysed and I was in hospital for two weeks while I was treated and re-habilitated. My MRI showed lesions on my spine at my lower back (T10) and my neck (C3) The places that I'd hurt in the fall down the stairs.

I really think there may be some correlation between the fall down the stairs which started the damage to my spine and maybe triggered the anti-body reaction, then the trauma of my Father-in-law's death that caused my SPS. But as I said, I'm not a doctor. 

Asking Others

After talking to other people who have SPS it's quite common for bigger attacks of SPS or even the start of SPS to arrive shortly after a traumatic event, either mentally or physically. Some people experience sudden stiffness which cause accidents which probably means the SPS is already there. But other's claim they had no symptoms until their trauma. 

Here are a few real life stories of the onset of SPS.

" I had a very stressful job and was full of anxiety before my diagnosis"
" My husband passed away, then I was hospitalised with pneumonia"
"My father died in a tragic accident"
" I was crushed by my partner while doing yoga"
" I had a fall skiing but also flu shortly after childbirth and already had auto-immune conditions"
" my car hit a telephone pole and I hurt my neck, I also had a stressful job"
" I had a stressful career and my Mum died of cancer"
" I had a stressful job, my Mum and Dad had dementia, my daughter got ill"


It really seems to me that these anti-bodies that cause us so much pain and suffering are triggered by pain and suffering. The irony is depressing. 

What Is the Answer

Well, thankfully, SPS is very rare but I think people should definitely take better care of both their physical and mental health. We need to learn to recognise when we are burning ourselves out. My life was really stressful in the year or so leading up to my problems occurring, then the fall and the trauma probably just added to it. Not everyone who suffers from stress or has an accident will get SPS, but there seems to be some correlation. Not everyone with SPS has suffered from an accident or trauma, so it's not a definite cause either. 

There is no cure for SPS but some people can manage to get their symptoms under control with treatments and medication. I've tried most things now, with little success. My doctor was on the verge of going down the psychosomatic route before he found a new lesion on my brain. But even if it was/is psychosomatic, the pain and suffering is very real and it ruins your life. 

I have yet to persuade my doctor to try Rituximab but I will persist as it's the only drug I haven't tried yet. He told me that IVIG was better but I have heard different stories from other people. The other treatment is Stem Cell Therapy, which I am not really pursuing. For one, I don't think I'd be approved, and I'd end up having to spend a lot of money that I don't really have for treatment privately. Secondly, it's a very invasive treatment with months of recovery, which is great if it works, but it's not guaranteed. I know of only one person with my condition who has had the treatment, and it didn't work. 

In conclusion, if trauma and stress makes SPS worse, maybe the answer is to seek a life without either. I'm determined to change my mindset, eat healthier, exercise within my limits, keep my brain active, and supplement my medication with alternative therapies. (although, I have heard that physical alternative therapies like acupuncture, reflexology, cupping, massage, etc. can have adverse affects, so I will avoid them. 

I already know and practice self Reiki, and now I am learning to incorporate this with crystal therapy. I try to spend some time each day just doing the things I enjoy and help to take my mind off my problems. I journal, use mindful writing prompts, work on my mental health all the time. I have learned to eat better and to avoid the things that make me feel worse. I really want a better quality of life and lying around being drugged up is not the answer to my problems. 

Following are some ads which contain affiliate links so if you click them I may earn some money but at no extra cost to you. A lot of resources are free so please do take advantage of them. Thank you for your support.












Sunday, 28 February 2021

Rare Disease Day 2021

 After a year of misery and confinement we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do we go towards it? We will, but with trepidation. 

I have had my first vaccination, so has my husband and carer and our eldest daughter who works for the NHS. We are now feeling a little more safe, although we know that we could still get sick. 

If you have a rare disease or condition, then you are even more at risk from the pandemic currently swarming our world. As someone who has a poor auto-immune system I don't know how my body would react to the Covid virus. It was a small anti-body that set my immune system into overdrive and caused all my problems in the first place. It has a name, the anti glycine receptor anti body. Because of that one little anomaly my body decided to attack itself and now I'm left in constant pain and wheelchair bound when outside my home. 

My daughter has a less rare condition, Elhers Danlos Syndrome. But she doesn't have the classic version and we are not really 100% sure what she has. She has been diagnosed with a Marfanoid Body Shape, but so far no other indications that come with Marfan Syndrome. Although they will be keeping an eye on her as there can be complications as she gets older. She also has a rare form of psoriasis, which is not responding to treatment. She has slight scoliosis but not bad enough for surgery. She also has Autism, which I believe actually helps her to deal with all her other issues. I can imagine that life would be very different if she was a typical teenager. 


So as people rush towards the freedom being offered, whether they take the vaccination or not is up to them. No one can force someone to put things into their body that they don't want. Some of us don't have a choice. And we need to stay away, and keep safe for longer because our risks are so much higher. We should all be thoughtful of others as well as ourselves. 


Today, Feb 28th 2021, is Rare Disease Day.



Saturday, 23 January 2021

Stuck to the Kitchen Cupboard Like a Magnet

 I have spasms a lot, I had one in the hospital while having my IVIG a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully, the nurse knew what to do and slowly massaged me back into feeling again. Today, I had a spasm which glued my forehead to the kitchen cupboard. Ha, it sounds funny, it looked funny, but it isn't really funny for me.

I knew I had a spasm coming, I get warning signs, dizziness, tingling, even a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Over the years, I've learned to interpret these as warning signs. I should sit down, rest, try and stop the attack with mindfulness. It sometimes works. I had no warning at the hospital because I'd fallen asleep and woken up in spasm, these cant be prevented unfortunately. 

Today's spasm hit while I was cooking lunch. I'd managed to do lunch for everyone and was about to make my own when suddenly the pain in my legs became too intense and I just couldn't hold myself up. I didn't want to fall so I leant against the cupboard, my forehead was resting against the door. But then then spasm hit and I couldn't move. I couldn't lift my head from the door, when I tried it moved slightly and then went straight back like it was pulled by a magnet. I had no control over the rest of my body and my head was holding me up by being stuck to the cupboard. How weird it felt, and looked. Luckily there was family around an my wheelchair fetched. My husband, Graham, had issues trying to get me off the cupboard, my head didn't want to move. My body fell back into the chair, but then he couldn't get my legs to bend onto the foot rests. I was stiff and unbendable. I guess that's why it's called stiff person syndrome. The stiffness is very real. One day, it won't go away. one day it will spread to my organs and they will become stiff and stop working. That day can just wait, I'm not ready yet. 


Trust me, there have been times when I've wanted to bang my head against the kitchen cupboard. But it's not the same when it's not a conscious decision and my body just wants to do it for me. Losing control of your body is a scary experience. I don't think I will ever really get used to it. 


Then there is the pain. I can't even begin to explain how it feels but it hurts.

I need to get my brain to connect with the rest of my body again and the best way to do that is to move. But I can't move so I need someone to move me. This is not easy for me or for the person trying to move me, but it has to be done. Eventually, my brain reconnects and I'm able to move again. I'm left exhausted and in pain. 

This is such a strange condition, with strange symptoms. Even stranger is that because it's so rare it's hard to find someone who feels the same. Yes, we may share some symptoms but everyone seems to be different. I woudln't wish this condition on my worst enemy. I'm so grateful that it's not genetic and I won't be passing it on to my family. 

Wednesday, 9 December 2020

Could it be A sign of IBD?

 Last week I took L to see a new gastroentrologist at the Children's hospital. She's had gastro problems since birth and we've seen Drs and Nurses and tried all sorts of treatments with very little success. Now, she is getting older they seem to be taking her issues more seriously.

A few weeks ago we had a whole three weeks of an upset stomach, which in turn means an upset L and and an upset Mum. We were struggling and couldn't get it under control. I phoned the Dr and samples of blood and  feces were sent off for analysis.

Calprotectin.

Calprotectin has never been mentioned before, but there were moderate amounts found in L's samples. It helps to differentiate between Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Irritable Bowl Disease. The cut off point is generally 200, and the cause for worry is >250. L's was 248.
The Dr took another sample to check that to see if it was just a one off inflammation, or if it is still elevated. 

At 15, L is the right age to start showing signs of IBD so fingers crossed it's just an inflammation. 
Sadly, with the problems being long lasting, it probably is an indication that something isn't working as it should, and it never has. 

Treatment

I was so pleased that we didn't come away with a dis-impaction plan. We had done so many of these over the years it really isn't pleasant and it has never worked anyway. But, the plan was a little different. L has been prescribed Loperamide to stop the diarrhoea and senna as a laxative. 

I was a bit stunned at first, why take two conflicting medications? But the answer is quite simple really. The Immodium will make the stools harder, but the senna will prevent constipation. The result should be  normal looking stools. It's been five days on this medication and we've had no success at all. In fact, not last night but the night before I was up at 1am with L while she was stuck on the toilet. 

 We will keep trying, she does seem to be getting more firmer stools. 
All I want for Christmas is a nice poo! 


Wednesday, 2 December 2020

A Day in the Life

 I've decided that I want to write things down for a couple of reasons. One is that I find it helpful to put it down to talk about it in a way that I can. The other is so that people can get some understanding about what it's like. Maybe there are other's who feel similar who can relate? Or maybe I can just let people know that living with a chronic illness is tough but not impossible. 

I am happy to answer questions. I'm happy to connect to others. I do not want sympathy or to be anything that I'm not. I am not brave, strong, amazing or any of those things. I am also not a whinger, complainer, attention seeker. 

If writing a blog is attention seeking then it's doing it in the right way. I want people to know what it's like and maybe help others.

Night Time

I have to go to bed as soon as I feel tired. If I leave it too long then getting upstairs can be difficult. I need to reserve that bit of extra energy to make the slog upstairs. I turned down a lift. I had plenty of time to think about it and I decided it wasn't the right thing for me. I didn't want to lose the space in my bedroom where it would have been installed. That may sound silly, but everyone needs a sanctuary, a place they feel safe and can go when things are tough. It's my bedroom and I didn't want a lift put in there. I would like a stair lift at some point, but for now I'm managing to get upstairs, mostly with upper body strength so I'm hoping I can hold on to that for a while longer. 

Once upstairs I change in the bathroom. It's warm and I can sit at the right height and angle to undress and change. The bedroom is cooler. I don't like the radiator on unless it's really cold, I prefer to snuggle in the duvet to keep warm. I sit on the bed to take my medication then using my remaining strength I pull my legs onto the bed and lie down. There is not much more I can do, I don't turn over, or move around to get comfortable. Where I lie is where I sleep. I have a bed guard that helps my top half from falling out of bed. I can use this to help pull me up when I need to get out of bed. 

Morning


I don't move in the night and this can cause me to become very stiff. Some days are not so bad and I can move okay, but on a bad day I can't move at all and need help to move my legs out of the bed. This is often done by my 10 year old son who is first up in the morning. He'll drag my legs out while I lift my upper body with the frame. He then sorts out my medication and gives it to me with my water. While in sitting position I start to regain feeling. Along with pain. 

When I'm ready I make my way downstairs. I have two bannisters to help me an rely on upper body. My legs are generally bad in the morning, even more so than at night. It takes a while to get going. 

My Day

I can move around during the day, once my medication has set in. I can make tea, breakfast, fold the washing. Somettimes I can fill up the washing machine or tumble dryer. I can tidy things and wipe down the kitchen work tops. I can wash up things in the sink. If I'm feeling good I may even be able to empty the dishwasher. 
I try to keep the bathrooms clean. I've invested in cleaners with long handles for those hard to reach places. I find bending extremely difficult, and stretching is difficult too. So, movement is hard but not impossible. 

If I bend or stretch too far the pain is incredible, It can happen anywhere that is affected, my back, my side, my legs, my arms, my neck...anywhere. But, I have to make sure I don't go that far. That sock at the back of the tumble dryer will have to stay there. That toilet roll that has dropped behind the toilet isn't going to be moved by me. Sometimes, even picking things up off the floor is just too much. 

I feel and act stiff, because that is what my body wants. I walk funny, it's hard to explain, but I feel like I'm walking through treacle and I look like I'm walking after two bottles of gin. I wobble and lose my balance. I'm good at not falling in the home because I know wherever I go I have something to help me. If there are things or people in the way it's much harder. The way has to be clear of obstruction. I find it harder to walk in unfamiliar places, even with aids. My brain is trying to concentrate more on the new situation that the simple act of walking. That's part of my condition, my brain doesn't communicate properly with my body. I can still do things, but it either has to be something completely natural to me, or I need to think really carefully. 

It's hard to explain. I can pick up the remote and turn over, but if someone asks me to pass the remote, then I find it so difficult to process the request and the action. It's very frustrating. 

I'm happier at home. If I go out I need my wheelchair. But that's a whole different day. My normal day involves a little housework, a lot of sitting down on the settee, a bit of reading, crochet or tv watching to pass the time. I also manage some cooking, but lately I'm finding it difficult to stand in the kitchen for very long. I have a kitchen stool, but it's only good if I don't have to move. I can sit and chop vegetable for ages, but getting up and putting them in a pan or on the oven involves a lot of effort, getting up from my chair and sitting down again is just another job for my body to do. The chair is good, only if I don't have to move! 

When the pain hits bad I can do nothing but lie on the settee, or flop in awkward positions that my family do their best to make better for me. When the pain gets too much my body gives up completely and I can't move. Sometimes at all. Even my mouth so I can't speak. I hate what my family has to go through and I'm glad the younger ones leave the room. Generally, some pain relief and a nap brings me back again. It doesn't happen every day. But when my treatment wears off it happens more frequently. I get warning signs that it's going to happen so I try to be careful and not push. 

Other times I get frustrated and push myself just to see if I can avoid it. I fight it, but I rarely win. In fact, I don't think I have ever won. 


It's My Life

I've accepted my life now. I would give anything to be fit and healthy again and will never give up hope of a cure. But for now, I've accepted my limitations, I suffer my frustrations but most of all I really feel for my family. That's why I keep fighting, for them! I'll keep going, and pushing and doing what I can because that's the way I am. 

Anyway, lying in bed all day being waited on hand and foot doesn't really appeal to me.... (mmm, maybe) 

Welcome to my story, can you relate? Do you want to chat? Feel free to comment if you do. 

I suffer from a rare neurological disorder called Stiff Person Syndrome. It came on quite suddenly, although, with hindsight I can see I had warnings that something was wrong. I hospitalised on 1st |Jan 2016 and kept in for two weeks. They found lesions (inflammation) on my spine which they put down to Transverse Myelitis. When I didn't recover they found a rogue anti body called a glycine receptor in my blood. I was then diagnosed with Stiff Person Syndrome plus Progressive Encephalomyelitis With Rigidity and Myoclonus in January 2017. 


https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/5023/stiff-person-syndrome

https://lizblows.wixsite.com/spsuk

https://lizblows.wixsite.com/spsuk/map

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146306/




Saturday, 7 November 2020

When Chronic Illness becomes a way of life

 I was fine, yes, I had my regular aches and pains. I'd been a chronic migraine sufferer for years but they were definitely related to my hormones. I'd also had some massive stomach pains that were being invesitgated when I got sick. Nothing was really found but they did say that I had a leaky gut, gasses were escaping into other parts of my body, including my womb. These days I imagine my womb as a shrivelled up prune! She served me well giving me five children. It was tough going at times but she's retired now, and so have the hormones. 


Chronic Illness and Life

So, even though I'd suffered on and off for many years, it wasn't until I began suffering constantly that life really changed. When I say constantly, I mean, constantly. There is not a moment of any day that I do not feel pain. I sleep a fair bit because I have pills that knock me out, but wake me up and the pain is still there. Day and night, night and day, every single minute.

I think this is what is so difficult to understand for most people. We all get sick, right? That throbbing migraine that has you lying down in a darkened room thinking that you just can't carry on is the bane of your life. But you know that it will go away. You will be okay. The pain will go and you will function again. phew. 

You get a cold and your head throbs, your nose runs, you can't stop sneezing. You cough and cough and it stops you sleeping. You sweat and ache and feel like hell. But it passes. A few days later you can be jumping in the car or on the bus and off to the shops, or to visit friends. (Well, maybe not in lockdown, but in normal times.) 

Can you imagine not getting better? 

It's hard isn't it.

I Was Told I Would Get Better

When I was in hospital I was told that I would get better. It would be hard work and take time but I could expect to be back to normal in about 8 weeks. I cried, 8 weeks was a long time to feel so rough. I felt sorry for myself. I did everything they asked. I took my medication, I did my physio, I pushed myself as much as I could. I even ate salt because my blood pressure was so low. I hate salt unless it's hidden in a cake or bread. I never usually add it to my food. 

I came home and carried on with the pills and physio. I visited hospital weekly. I tried so hard and waited to get better. I didn't get better. 

I improved. I managed to learn to walk again and move a little more. Although I still have plenty of times when I lose control of my body, mostly I can do stuff even if it hurts. 

The hurting never stops though. I get pain in my feet, my legs, my hips, my sides, my stomach, my chest, my shoulders, my neck, my arms, my fingers, my face, my head. Okay, Okay. I should have just said everywhere. Yup, even my bottom hurts. It's been nearly five years now, every day. 

It never, ever stops hurting.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt so bad and I can walk to the toilet or the kitchen without wincing every second. I can sit and type, or crochet and watch television. It hurts but I'm taking my mind off the pain. I can stand in the kitchen, and sometimes I can get so involved in what I'm doing I push through the pain and get on with it. I can go out in my wheelchair, every bump hurts, every sudden stop or turn can hurt, but I need to get around don't I? 

Sometimes it gets worse. Generally when I've done any of the things above. You see, I want to do things, but doing things make the hurting worse. I could lie in bed all day, but lying in bed hurts too. Some nights I wake up and force myself to stand up and take a few steps just to relieve the pain of lying down. Then I have to lie down to relieve the pain of standing up and walking. 

When it gets really bad I take some more pills, generally diazepam because they help me relax. When the pain is bad, panicking makes it worse. I don't want to panic so I chill myself right down. I focus on breathing. I'm lucky, breathing doesn't hurt. I fill my chest and empty it. I concentrate on that. Everything else goes completely, utterly numb. My body's reaction to severe pain is to go numb. It sounds good, but it's pretty scary. When I say numb, I mean I cannot move. I have no control at all. I sometimes manage to keep one of my arms or my neck so I can move my head, but sometimes, I cannot even control my speech. 

Death Meditation

I came across death meditation in a fiction book I was reading. The description was exactly what my body does when I'm in extreme pain. My first reaction was to panic as it seems my body is preparing for death. But then I realised that each time I've come back from it, and I will come back from it. My breathing continues and I will continue to breathe. 

Death meditation is a Buddhist practice which teaches you to let go of life and accept death. Accept your fate, after all, we will all die one day. I've decided to learn more about it. I think letting go of life is difficult and people fight it so bad. I won't give up wanting to live, I have children I want to see grow up. But if it comes to the end I want to go in peace. knowing peace, feeling peace, and hopefully letting my family know that I am at peace.

A lot of people when faced with the prospect of constant pain for the rest of their lives find it difficult to accept. Trust me, I get that. I think that maybe I have at least 20 years left on this earth. That's 20 years of pain and suffering. You may say I'm being over dramatic, but that's because unless you experience pain every minute of every day it's hard to understand. People who can't accept it give up, it doesn't make them weak. Really, choosing forever peace over forever pain can seem like the perfect choice. 

I've chosen forever pain.

Of course, I'll never stop trying ways of easing the pain, making life better, living my life, creating, enjoying, laughing, loving, there are so many things you can do even if you are in pain. And all of them help to make the pain more bearable (Apart from laughing, if I laugh I get the most incredible pain spasms in my side. But, it's not going to stop me from laughing.)



Accepting My Fate

I have accepted that I am now constantly disabled and that I am not going to get better. My original diagnosis was wrong and now I know that my condition is progressive and will get worse. But that's okay, because I can keep going. I will keep looking for the things that make me feel better, happier. I will carry on because I never want to give up. I'm not fighting, it's not a battle, it's my life and I just want to live it. 

I may hurt but I won't give up smiling and loving my gorgeous family. 


Friday, 30 October 2020

It's Been a Long Time!

 So, I've not written here in ages. I guess I wanted to keep L's life a little more private as she got older. But we are still on a long journey with her health and I think it needs a place to be recorded. 

I have also decided that this would be a good place to write about my own chronic illness. It's a difficult time right now and people are always looking for connections and help.

I don't know if I can help anyone, but I do want to share my story and if you can relate to any part then please feel free to get in touch to talk about it. 

As I've not written here in a long time I will start with a recap. I'll try and keep it brief, but it's not a short story.

First up, L's Story

From the very beginning I knew something wasn't right with my girl. She seemed to be in pain all the time. Of course, Drs said it was colic and such like, and nothing to worry about.
She developed normally, apart from her toilet problems. We tried everything, even to the point of painting the bathroom girly pink and buying a Princess toilet seat. But she just couldn't 'go'
She started nursery at 3 and was 'suspended' until we could toilet train her, when her teacher noticed I'd sent her to school in a 'pull-up' nappy rather than pants. Roll on 12 years later and she still wears pads and incontinence pads. 

I asked for help from an early age and to be fair we have seen a paediatric gastric doctor who first told us she had problems, then back tracked by saying he'd found nothing. We confronted him but he denied ever saying anything and refused to do the tests again. This is not uncommon. It's happened to me too. 

We did get a referral to a continence nurse who was really helpful. She explained how everything worked. shared videos that were child friendly so L could understand. Then told us it was constipation and that L needed a dis-impaction.

Dis-Impaction

This needs a paragraph to itself. To dis-impact a bowel you have to empty it of everything. That means taking a solution (Movicol) that pushes everything out. Laxitives can be used if it takes too long, but it generally takes about 4 days. With L, it took 9 days. I want to tell you about the mess, but I'll leave it to your imagination. That's when the 'poo bucket' was introduced in our home. It's a nappy bucket that gets filled with soiled clothes so I can wash them seperately. I have to wash them by hand at first, generally down the toilet, then in the bathroom sink. Then a double wash in the machine. Then the washing machine gets a drum wash. This is a weekly, or bi-weekly task and it's the bane of my life. 

So, we dis-impacted. To the point of water like poo and no lumps. Then L became constipated again less than a week later. The nurse said this was common and we had to dis-impact again. We went around this cycle for FOUR YEARS! No further help was ever offered so we stopped going to see the nurse. 

We still dis-impact occasionally. She gets constipated again straight away. 

But L is More than Poo!

L's pooing problem is now being taken seriously by the Drs but I think I need to follow that story seperately. Let me just say for now, that things got really, really bad this year. 

L was in pain as a baby, I wasn't imagining it. We have a diagnosis, but it's being questioned as her genetic dr seems to disagree. She has Elher's Danlos Syndrome. A connective tissue disorder which means her joints can pop out of place easily. She's seen a rheumatologist who gave this diagnosis. She has also had physio therapy  (which made her worse) and then she was referred to a geneticist. She believes that L has Marfan Syndrome, but she's currently carrying out more investigations. Next month L's siblings are going for blood tests to see if the genes are in the family. (sadly, the signs are there but the other two have not suffered so much.)

When L was seven years old her neck became stuck in an awkward and painful position. I have the full story recorded here on the blog, but it resulted in 18 months of treatment including five trips to the operating theatre and two sessions of halo vest wearing. 

When L was six years old she was diagnosed with high functioning autism. She has managed to go through mainstream school and is currently working on her GCSEs. She gets a lot of help at school which I am truly grateful for. 

I will tell you how L gets on from now on. Especially as some of her current testing came up with some issues which involve further hospital intervention.

My Story

I too am a zebra, but it happened suddenly for me. I fell ill on 1st January 2016 and ended up in hospital for two weeks. I was diagnosed with Transverse myelitis as I had lesions (Swellings) on my spine at C4 and T10. The Doctor in the hospital told me this after my MRI. My notes do not say this. The Dr I see now has no record of this ever being said. I'd think I was going crazy but I was not alone when the original Doctor told me this, I have a witness. (I've never had another full body MRI) Only brain ones.

A year later they found some rogue anti-bodies in my blood and I was diagnosed with Stiff Person Syndrome with PERM. It's a rare condition affecting less than 1 in a million world wide. Most doctors have never heard of it. 

This is getting long so I'll fill you in as briefly as I can. Stiff Person Syndrome does was it says, it makes me stiff, I can't bend or stretch without pain. I have a spastic gait which stops me from being able to walk normally, so I use a wheelchair. I have spasms where my body goes suddenly stiff and immobile. or just immobile and I can't control it. 

The PERM is Progressive Encephalomyelitis with Rigidity and myoclonus - Progressive - it will get worse, encephalomyelitis - a demyelinating of the spinal cord (damage to the coating), rigidity - stiffness and myoclonus - uncontrollable jerking. (sounds fun doesn't it!)

I have also recently had a scare when my brain started bleeding for no reason and caused a lump to appear. Thankfully, this has now been re-absorbed, but there is no guarantee that it won't happen again. 

Mum and Daughter

So, to conclude. I am a disabled Mum looking after a disabled daughter. My youngest son is also on the autistic spectrum and has health issues, but we don't have any serious worries about him. 

We have a lot to face and although I stopped writing about L a couple of years ago, I do think her story needs to be continued. This will also give me the opportunity to connect with other chronic illness sufferers. 

Please feel free to browse L's story so far. Particularly if you are interested in halo wearing. It's quite an experience and not one you want to face alone. 


Sorry For Not Updating Sooner but it's been a bit Poo!

 Last week we finally got to see a consultant at the adult hospital to proceed with her treatment. Last year she was told she'd be refer...